Snowflakes and Tears
by magicallittleme
Summary: Ginny is sad. Ginny is very sad. Do you think Ginny's sad? I think Ginny's sad. Sorry, I just can't write a proper summary today. But I hope you got one thing from this. Ginny is sad. Teehee. =)


It was Christmas break at Hogwarts, and I was all alone, with the exception of a few others. All of my so-called friends had gone home for Christmas. Ha! Some friends they were. They only befriended me because my brother Ron is Harry Potter's best friend. That's all I'm ever seen as. Ron's little sister.   
  
I sighed and turned back to my homework. We had an unbelievable amount, Professor McGonagall didn't care that it was Christmas. She gave us pages and pages and pages of reports that we had to write. And on top of that, we had to do research on animagi, and the steps needed to become one.   
  
A sound of laughter lifted my head from my homework. It was coming from outside. I got up from my place in front of the fire and peered out the window. Of course. I should have known.   
  
Ron, Hermione and Harry were having a snowball fight out on the courtyard, screaming and laughing as they hit each other. Just the thought of Harry made me want to scream. He was so brave, so courageous, every time he looked at me with those emerald green eyes of his, I fell more and more hopelessly in love with him. But he didn't even care. And if he did notice, he ignored it.   
  
I sighed deeply. No matter what I did to get his attention, how many times I talked to him, he would always think of me as Ron's little sister. I would never get rid of that cursed title. Going back to my chair, I started reading up on the seven animagi of this century.   
  
I just couldn't concentrate. All the words on the page turned to Harry. And when I read over the report I had started, I found that all I had written was Harry's name over and over again.   
  
I jumped up from my chair and threw down my pen. Enough was enough! Tying my hair into a ponytail, I ran over and threw on my cloak, then got out my skates from my trunk. I was one of the best at Hogwarts in figure skating and the lake looked frozen enough. Maybe I could finally capture Harry's attention.   
  
I burst out the door and a cold, frigid wind greeted me. Snowflakes swirled and twirled, making our Hogwarts courtyard look like a winter wonderland. I took a deep breath and let the air flow into me. Winter was just so exhilarating, it always made me just want to jump off the roof and let the swirling snowflakes gently drop me to the ground. Of course, it would require the help of magic that I wasn't old enough to do, but I could still dream.   
  
Swinging my skates over my shoulder, I ran over to where Ron and them were playing. They didn't notice I was there. I tapped Ron in the shoulder, and ducked just in time to avoid getting hit in the face with a cold ball of snow.   
  
"Hey guys" I chirped.   
  
"Hi" said Harry and Hermione, both grinning at me. I blushed instantly. Stupid face. Why did I have to turn red so easily?  
  
Taking a deep breath, I managed to turn my face back to its normal color. "Do you want to come ice skating with me?" I asked, trying to keep my enthusiasm up.   
  
"Su-" started Hermione but Ron cut her off.  
  
Throwing his arms up in the air in exasperation, he started yelling at me. "Why do you have to hang around me all the time? Can't you play with your own little friends?"  
  
I took a gulp of air and tried to stop the tears that were beginning to fill my eyes from overflowing. It didn't work. They came, like large drops of rain pouring from the sky. I ran away, drowning in humiliation.   
  
"Ron!" I heard Hermione say reproachfully. "Can't you be nice?"   
  
I ran a distance from them, then stopped, once I was sure they couldn't see me anymore. I jumped up and grabbed the branch of the large tree I was under, then climbed to the very top, my skates cutting into my shoulder. Settling myself so I wouldn't fall, I leaned against the trunk and watched as they started to build a giant snowman.   
  
My eyes started to water again. They would never accept me as one of their own. It was always Harry, Hermione and Ron, the terrific threesome, fighting whatever dangers got in their way.   
  
Looking down from my branch, I saw as a laughing Harry stuffed a snowball down Hermione's cloak then ran away as she chased him screaming. It was hopeless, I could tell. Harry was hopelessly in love with her, just as I was with him.   
  
A silent tear rolled down my cheek and snowflakes swirled all about me, blinding me with their whiteness. A savage sob escaped my throat, then another and another. Soon, I was screaming and crying at the top of my lungs, not caring who heard me. They couldn't hear me anyways, over the raging storm.   
  
An especially fierce gust of wind came at me and blew me off my branch. I screamed, and flailed my arms wildly trying to grab onto a branch. The storm made it impossible to see, and I gave up, quietly accepting my fate.   
  
Something amazing happened though, as I fell, I seemed to be slowing down. I opened my eyes again, and saw that I was! By the time I reached the bottom, I wasn't falling at all, the snowflakes seemed to be setting me down, just like in my daydream.   
  
"But that's impossible" I said quietly to myself. "There's no way I could've performed that kind of magic."  
  
Looking up, I saw a blurry figure run away from me into the swirling storm.   
  
"Wait!" I called after the person, but whoever it was, they were too far away to hear me.   
  
Picking up my skates, I set off towards the lake, wanting to skate all my troubles away. As I walked, that mysterious person kept intruding in my thoughts. Who was he? And why had he saved me?  
  
When I arrived at the lake, the storm had ceased, leaving about an inch of snow on the ground. I sat down on the fluffy snow bank and slipped on my skates. I saw that no one else was on the lake. I wonder why. Usually it was full of people, so that I could hardly practice my moves. Oh well. It must be the cold.   
  
Tying a bow on my laces, I stepped towards the ice. On the other side of the bank, I could see Harry, Ron and Hermione still building their snowman. I forced myself to scoff, though no one could see me.   
  
"Who cares what they think?" I whispered, trying not to cry. I knew I didn't really mean what I said. Exactly the opposite. What they thought of me mattered more than the world. It meant they accepted me, as me, and that I didn't have to pretend.  
  
Wiping my tears on my mittens, I stepped onto the ice. I was so absorbed in my thoughts, I didn't see the "Thin Ice" sign stuck at the side of the lake. Either that or the newly fallen snow have covered. Whatever it was, when I skated into the middle of the lake, the ice collapsed on me and I fell into the icy cold water.  
  
My first thought was that I was sinking. It was ridiculously hard to swim in clothes and my jeans were clinging to my legs, making them feel very heavy. I knew I couldn't shed my many layers though, if I did, I would surely die of hypothermia.   
  
I thrashed wildy in the water, trying to slide onto the piece of ice nearest to me. During my attempts I swallowed a gulp of the icy water. Coughing and sputtering, I sank down again. The water had frozen my lungs and it was getting harder and harder to breathe.  
  
From afar, I could hear footsteps rushing towards me, also screaming voices.   
  
"Over here" I wanted to shout, but my voice was getting weak. I didn't want to waste any more of my energy.   
  
"Ginny" I heard someone shout. Warm hands wrapped around my wrists and pulled me to safety. Someone laid me down on the ground and wrapped me with blankets. I coughed, a sore throat developing, trying to catch my breath.   
  
Voices and heads gathered around me, their conversations a blur. The excitement was too much, and I fell unconcious.  
  
The next thing I knew, I was in the Hospital Wing, covered in white. Ugh. I hate white. Nine eager faces peered over me, only two of them without flaming red hair.   
  
"Ginny!" I heard Mum gasp at me. "What were you thinking, going on that thin ice!"  
  
"I didn't know Mum, honest" I told her weakly. My voice still hadn't fully recovered.   
  
"Here, drink this" said Hermione, pushing a bowl of chicken soup at me. "Madame Pomfrey said it would help you get better."  
  
"Thanks" I told her. I wanted to hate her for taking Harry away from me, but I just couldn't. She was being too nice to me.  
  
Madame Pompfrey stepped into the room, looking furious. "Out! Out! Out!" she screamed at them, pushing them out the door. "Ginny needs her rest"   
  
My eyelids were heavy as I watched them all leave. Soon I fell into a deep sleep.   
  
A shadow visited me in my dreams. An evil shadow, and when I saw, I knew it was the one they called Voldemort. "Join me" he whispered. "I'll give you everything you want. Your deepest desires will be yours, as long as you join me."  
  
Everything I wanted. Did that mean Harry would be mine? Now that I look back, I was so naive back then, so sure that he would give me everything he promised. I said yes.   
  
The years of torture began then, I was weak, I had to get stronger and stronger. I slept less, ate less, even started slacking off my homework. But my family didn't notice, for my brother Ron had become the Quidditch team captain and was most likely going to be Head Boy. They were so proud of him, never noticing little Ginny. My hatred for them grew.   
  
As time went on, I spent more and more time at Voldemort's side, training, spying, doing his evil deeds. I was the only female Death Eater at that time, and the youngest too. I was so proud of myself. Finally, I would become something.  
  
My first real shock came when Ernie Macmillan's father was killed. His dad had been an important Auror and I was the one who told Voldemort his background information. Dumbledore made a speech that day, basically the same as he had done for Cedric. Ernie was devastated, when I looked over at their table, he was crying enough to fill a lake.   
  
I felt a twinge of guilt, I was the one who caused his misery. I told this to Voldemort and he didn't punish me like I expected him to. I guess he still had to pull me over to his side a little more. He managed to convince me that they deserved it, that they were the evil ones, not he. I believed him.  
  
A month later, I was given my first real task. I was to kill Hermione. When I asked why, he said that she was too smart for her own good, she would one day defeat him. He said that Hermione must die before she does.   
  
I went, taking my wand. I had mastered the Unforgivables the year before. I met her in the hallway on her way to class.  
  
"Hi Hermione" I said casually.  
  
"Hey Ginny. How are you?" she said.  
  
Guilt clogged my throat. She had always been so kind to me, and now, I had to end her life. I fingered my wand, then dropped it. I couldn't do it.   
  
"Are you okay?" she asked, sensing my discomfort.  
  
I didn't answer, just dropped my books and ran to the safety of my dorm. Voldemort would find out that I did it, in only a few hours. And my punishment would be deathly.   
  
Thinking back on the past few years, I realized my errors. Oh why did I have to go and join Voldemort just because of my jealousy?   
  
I grabbed a pen and a notebook from my desk. I had to record this, someone had to know why I had gone and done this.   
  
That's what this is. The story of my jealousy, my errors, and most of my life. But why is it most, you ask. Surely you have so many years left.   
  
I don't. I'm going to end my life tonight. Why, you ask. Because I have nothing else to live for.   
  
So I guess this is goodbye. Hermione, I'm sorry I almost killed you. You've always been so nice to me, almost like family. Ron, don't worry, it's not your fault. I did this on my own account. Mum, Dad, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, I'm sorry, I can't say something to each of you. I'm a bit pressed for time. But I love you all, no matter what you've always been there for me. You just forgot about me sometimes. Harry, sweet Harry, even now I love you. And I always will. I hope you're the one who finds this.   
  
I'm sorry I didn't have time to everyone who's meant so much to me. Voldemort must be defeated, and from what he told me, Hermione, you'll be the one who does it. Goodbye everyone. I love you all.   
  
Ginny Beth Weasley  
  
*~*~*  
  
Ginny stood on the very top of the Astronomy Tower, a little red notebook clutched in her hand. A storm swirled about her, just like the day when it had all started.   
  
"I guess this is it" she whispered softly. "Goodbye world"   
  
A single tear rolled down her cheek and with one final breath, she jumped. Snowflakes swirled around her, mingling with her tears.   
  
As she dropped to the ground, two final words escaped from her lips. "I'm sorry"   
  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: Everything cept for Ginny middle name belongs to JK Rowling. (Yay!!! I own somthing!!)  
  
AN: Hi peoples! Hmmm, something must be wrong I never say hi. Do I? D'you think killing her was a bit much maybe? She just seems kinda like the type to me. Oh well, you can tell me what you think in a review (hint, hint) =)  
  



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